Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura
1 November 2013 / 27 Zulhijjah 1434
The Role Of Family In The Life Of An Insan
Dear Friday jemaah
On this day full of barakah, let us strengthen our takwa towards Allah s.w.t. Let us strive to abide by all of Allah’s commands and leave behind what Allah has forbidden upon us.
Dear blessed jema’ah,
How do we feel when we see the smiles and hear the joyful laughter of our family members? What is it that we feel when we are out spending time with them and joking around with them? What is it that we experience when we share our problems with our spouse, parents and children? The answer is simple: calmness, happiness, tranquility and joy. That is also the purpose of marriage as Allah has laid out for us. Allah says in the Quran, in surah Ar-Rum verse 21:
Which means: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
My dear brothers,
The need for companionship is a basic human desire. Allah s.w.t. created men in pairs. Allah created Hawa as a companion for Prophet Adam a.s. They were blessed with feelings of love and affection, which are the foundations towards building a serene family.
The household of our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. was a source of strength spiritually and emotionally. The environment at home that he built led to a sense of tranquility for the heart and mind.
When Rasulullah s.a.w. first received Allah’s revelation directly from the angel Jibril, the Prophet was confused and his emotions were in a state of unrest. In that state, the Prophet s.a.w. did not rush to meet his close friends; instead he rushed home to meet Saidatina Khadijah r.a. and recalled the entire experience to her. This is a reminder for us on the importance of our spouse and the family as our supporters and to guide us when we face problems and challenges. These days, we find that there are those who find it is easier to express their problems and challenges with their contacts on Facebook or Twitter, when instead it should be their family as their main source of strength and reference.
From the story of the first revelation that was sent to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w., we learn how Khadijah r.a. supported her husband by calming him down, both mentally and emotionally. She also reassured him and gave him confidence by uttering words of encouragement and together with him, tried to find a solution to what he has facing.
This is reason why the family institution is very important. During our times of need, when we are facing challenges in life, not many of our friends and acquaintances will be there for us. But our family will always be our pillar of support because blood is thicker than water. Thus, we must ensure that we maintain good relations with our family members, be it with our spouse, parents or even our siblings after we have built our own family.
Dear Friday jemaah,
Having a family that is adorned with mawaddah and rahmah is the dream of every individual. It is our responsibility as a husband and father, to lead our family. We have a responsibility to ensure that our families are built on a strong foundation based on takwa, and that it remains as a support system and a source of happiness. Increase our doa to Allah, as Allah has encouraged us to do so in surah Al-Furqan, verse 74:
Which means: “And those who pray, “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.”
This verse is a reminder that every member of the family plays an important role towards bringing about happiness in the family. We must ensure that our children continue to feel the love and happiness in the family. We must not let the pressure and stress we feel at work and outside the home to affect the warmth inside the home and our relationship with our children.
As fathers, it is even more important. The role of the father as a guide to discipline his children, develop their self-confidence and self-esteem are integral towards building a resilient family. The Quran, tells us of many conversations between a father and his children. These include the story of Prophet Ibrahim a.s. and his son Prophet Ismail a.s., Prophet Yaa’kob a.s. and his son Prophet Yusuf a.s, and the discussions between Luqmanul Hakim and his children.
No matter how tired we are, after an entire day at work, as fathers we should make time to find out about our children’s developments. Have we, as fathers, practiced the Sunnah of giving advice and reminders to our children? Or are we simply leaving this task to our wives? As fathers, we must not be shy or embarrassed to show our love towards our children. If we are not used to saying it verbally, perhaps we can start with telling them via SMS or messages. Words from a father are no less valuable and are psychologically, as impactful on the emotional and mental well-being of our children.
We must also ensure that in a bid to maintain happiness in our family, we must be fair and not practice favouritism in showering our children with love and affection. Rasulullah s.a.w. said:
Which means: “Fear Allah and be fair to your children.” [Hadith narrated by Imam Bukhari and Muslim]
Indeed the offspring that Allah has blessed us with are an amanah from Allah s.w.t. It is then our obligation to provide a tranquil environment for our family.
We will soon usher in the year 1435 Hijriah. This is yet another new chapter that we will embark on together Insya’Allah. Thus, let us strive hard so that the coming year will bring about happiness and peace in our hearts, mind and souls, for ourselves and our families. May Allah s.w.t. strengthen the bonds in our family and be pleased with our families. Amin ya rabbal alamin.