Path to happiness#3
Thinking good of people a making as much excuses for others as possible really are the cures to many of our social problems.
Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said, “If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves.” [Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman,7.522]
We most of the time end up hating ourselves and others because of what they did or said to us. We take their actions as personal attacks and their words as missiles incidentally propelled at our hearts. By allowing their words or actions to get to us, we feel dejected and angry as well as disappointed with them and due to our inability to use their criticism to propel us forward, we end up hating ourselves as well as the way we react to the actions of others.
In addition, when they do not meet up to our expectations, we may feel angry at ourselves due to setting up too high an expectation for others.
By making excuses for others, we are allowing them space to make mistakes. Nobody is perfect right??
Hence, we would live happily and peacefully in our society, free of grudges and feelings of defensiveness as well as destructive self-hate.
–> When people make mistakes, they are actually not making mistakes. We only perceive them as mistakes but in reality, they are actually not mistakes. They are actually not meeting up to the high expectations we sub.consciously set for them and hence, we get upset with them for being unable to meet up to our standards. Isn’t that oppressing them???
We say they make mistakes. So they’re the ones who should right it…not us.
Hence, we tend to blame people who we perceive to have made a mistake when in reality, they only did not meet up to our high expectations.
(The words in brown above only applies to specific cases…it is just a theory..)
So, When anyone wrongs you or simply annoy the guts out of you, don’t get angry, don’t take heart. No one is perfect while everyone is imperfect, meaning that everyone will be bound to make mistakes. Just make as much excuses as you can for others but be smart as there will always be some cases unsuitable for the above.
Something that might be of help:
Hope this benefits..Remember to smile:)
Alhamdulillah alaa kulli ni’amihi alayna….